


How to kiss one's soul (when one doesn't have one)

by FPwoper



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Supernatural
Genre: Crack, Crossover, Dementors, Gen, Hogwarts, Inspired By Tumblr, Soulless Sam Winchester, but no full force gayness, hinting at eye sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-15
Updated: 2013-04-15
Packaged: 2017-12-08 14:56:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,365
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/762671
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FPwoper/pseuds/FPwoper
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I want to say I don't know where this comes from but I blame Tumblr. Supernatural/Harry Potter crossover.<br/>Dean, Sam and Castiel are hunting but suddenly need to get out of there. They accidentely end up on Hogwarts - the safest place on Earth - where Dementors start hunting them.</p>
<p>I suck at summaries.</p>
            </blockquote>





	How to kiss one's soul (when one doesn't have one)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [vizutheshaman (dA)](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=vizutheshaman+%28dA%29).



> A/N: based on this post on Tumblr: http://fpwoper.tumblr.com/post/47951535067/hieroglyphical-a-little-eye-magic  
> I just had to write it when I saw it. The idea was awesome and I was fed up with studying for Chemistry and yeah. I had an empty Sunday slot to post it into xD  
> I opted for Soulless!Sam because… well, just because. Also, I did not check for grammar and/or spelling mistakes. It’s just a quick drabble that came up in my head, though I might do something more with Supernatural and Harry Potter as soon as I have more time to write.
> 
> It ended up being more work than I expected so that's why I post it on Monday. I don't own any of the characters.

**How to kiss one’s soul**

 

They didn’t actually know why and how they’d gotten there. One moment they were chasing a clan of vampires down the road and the other they were in the blazing daylight somewhere… not America. Upon looking around they found themselves on the grounds of a large castle and standing right next to a lake.

Castiel sucked in a breath and uttered something in Enochian, looking around him again. He hadn’t meant to transport Dean and Sam here but the pressure of the vampire and demon coming up behind them had made his mind snap into Save-the-Winchesters-mode and he’d just transported them somewhere safe, not realizing “somewhere safe” wasn’t really… human. And now he’d put two hunters between all kinds of magicians – which, bad idea.

Dean and Sam were surprised at their surroundings. Well, Dean was surprised. Sam was as emotionless as ever. On an abstract level he could appreciate the green grass and lush greens which surrounded him but he was not surprised.

“Cas?” Dean asked. “Where are we and what are we doing here?” He was still looking around himself and slowly getting a little used to it.

Castiel sighed. “We’re… technically speaking in a place that should not, cannot and does not exist. Not for, eh, “ordinary” humans, like you two. I’ve been here before and it’s a pleasurable place to stay but I did not deem it possible for you to get here, as well. Apparently you can, though.”

“That doesn’t answer the question, Cas.”

Castiel cast a weary glance at Dean and then looked at the disinterested face of one Sam Winchester. “I know. I find myself reluctant to tell you where we are. I am afraid you will go off and hunt these people.”

“Well, if you’re so afraid, then why don’t you just tell?” Dean was mildly annoyed at Castiel’s evasive behavior and it was showing. “You don’t know if we’ll gank these sons of bitches if you don’t tell what they are!”

“Which is exactly… why I am in no hurry to share it. You are already throwing a fit over this.”

Dean huffed out a breath and forced himself to calm down. “So, what is it, then? Please tell me, Castiel.”

“We are in the United Kingdom. In a hidden corner of Scotland, to be precise. We’re as safe as we can get on this planet without exhausting my forces too much. There aren’t many creatures who can follow us here.” Castiel took a deep breath, visibly steeling himself for his own next words. "We are at Hogwarts. It’s full name is Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. We are her because we were being chased by a vampire and a high-ranked demon. I didn’t wish for you to die so I brought you to safety instead, and apparently my Grace called out to Hogwarts as we… are now here.” Castiel finished a little lamely, as if he deflated after having said so much.

Dean stared at Castiel. “Hogwarts… a school for wizards? Like in the Harry Potter series?”

Castiel stared straight back, answering in earnest. “Exactly like in the series. Albus Dumbledore sent Joanna Rowling a dream in which he prompted her to write this. Minerva McGonagell disapproved but the plan had already been set into motion. Everything is exactly as it is described in the series, though Mr Potter is a fictional character. Hogwarts is real, as you can see, and very much alive. Not everything in the series happened in real life, Rowling might have exaggerated quite a lot, but… well, the basics are the same, and there once _was_  a boy called Tom Marvolo Riddle who had this idea to take over the world and be evil. It did not work, luckily. It might have been another Apocalypse we would have had to avert.”

“Witches. There are witches here?” Sam finally hitched on and returned to the conversation. “We should kill ‘em.”

“No, Samuel, we will not annihilate any witches or wizards here. These are young magical people who learn to work with their skills and learn how to use them for good. Some of them stray from the righteous path, I must admit, but most of them would not hurt anyone at all.”

“It’s Harry Potter without Harry Potter, Sam,” Dean said. “No one wants to kill Hermione or Ron or something. I mean, they’re the good guys, right? And I’m sure Malfoy won’t be that bad, either.”

Castiel seemed surprised. “Did you read the books, Dean?” he asked quietly, apparently amazed at the fact that Dean had that particular skill – reading books which were not for research. The look seemed to throw Dean off balance and he replied quickly, defensively:

“Yes, I did. So what? Can’t a guy enjoy a very popular series once in a while?”

The defense elicited a smile from Castiel. “Of course you can, Dean. I did not want to offend you. Though it is not of import at the moment. We should concentrate on finding a way back.”  
“Can’t you just zap us out?” Sam asked, his brows pulling up in some sort of unbelieving face, with a side dish of Bitchface #513.

“No, I cannot,” Castiel sighed, sounding a little down himself. “This place is warded and there is a direct route to it – a hotline, as you would call it – if you are in trouble. Leaving here, which is what you actually are suggesting now, is harder because Hogwarts is set to be safe. There was a no-entering policy as well, though that has been cancelled.”

“So, we basically crashed at Hogwarts because we were escaping a vamp and a demon, and now we’re stuck here?” Dean clarified carefully as if he still was unable to understand just that. Castiel nodded in agreement and Sam huffed.

“So we flee from two mythical creatures who seem to have found each other, only to run to some other mythical place for safety?” Sarcasm became Sam when he was soulless. Again Castiel nodded and Sam cast Dean a weary glance.

“Pray tell me, then, why are we being followed by Dementors, exactly?”

Castiel glanced over his shoulder, sighing softly. “We don’t need to fear them, Sam. Dementors feed on happiness. We don’t have any of that.”

Dean chuckled. “I never saw being depressed, lonely and soulless as something good.”

The Dementors were rapidly approaching now, as if calling them out made them realize they had to move quickly to get their prey. Knowing happiness wasn’t their forte made ignoring the cold and withering flowers easier, though. Dean laughed again.

“I really feel stupid now. I mean, in the movies they get all menacing and making kissy faces and everybody goes shaking. We really are something, huh?”

Castiel pulled a brow at Dean’s obvious mockery. “You do understand that these creatures are one of the few that you cannot kill?”

“Yes, I do, Cas. But I’m comfortable knowing that they can’t exactly kill me either.”

Sam was chuckling somewhere in their peripheral vision and they turned around to look at him.

“What’s so funny, Sam?” Dean asked.

“Well, knowing I’m the closest to them, and knowing that if they “kiss” you, they suck out your soul… Two plus two equals four, Dean, and I just know how much fun I’m gonna have with them.”

One of the Dementor (only two were following the hunters) floated closer to Sam and started sucking at the air. Castiel and Dean were watching in awe when nothing – no memory at all – came out, and the Dementor almost pulled away in confusion, but then it decided to just get Sam’s soul. Dean was on the verge of protesting when he realized that Sam in fact did not have a soul so it couldn’t be sucked out.

The Dementor actually kissed Sam then, and immediately backed away, somehow managing a noise sounding like a wail to alert the other Dementor of their weird company, and urging it on into flight.

Sam pulled a new bitchface (number 87 this time) and waved at the retreating Dementors. Turning around, he smiled at Dean and Castiel.

“So. Where to now?”

 

~ the end ~


End file.
